Not that anyone noticed....and not that I expect anyone to notice but, this blog took a bit of a shift. I went from sharing spiritual things...to sharing about my thrifty finds and the fun home projects I have been working on at home. Not that that is a bad thing but if you could see my heart as the Lord does you would see that the shift was due to my lack of zeal, disappointments and very discouraged heart. Don't get me wrong, I am going to keep up with my fun projects because I really enjoy them but I just have to say that my heart is in a better place.
Here is what I know, and what my heart is totally okay with...
Relationships are seasonal.
Relationships are purposed.
Sometimes they last and sometimes they don't.
Friends come and go.
They are a gift to be enjoyed.
Friendship brings wisdom, love and comfort.
Friends share truth.
Friends love you through the growth spurts.
Having said all of that...Here's what I also know,
Relationships were NEVER meant to end on a bad note. Even though they are sometimes seasonal, God would never end a season on a bad note. Although it does happen and God is so good to reveal so much to us in those times of separation, we as believers should never be okay with unreconciled, unresolved issues. It should be a deep pain in our heart and soul until things, Lord willing, get resolved.
A good and very wise friend of mine encouraged me that when relationships goes through a rocky time it is very important to always (and I say all of this with a lot of !!!! because they are all so very important)...
1. WAIT, Be Patient!!!
2. While you are waiting, ask the Lord to reveal what He needs to reveal!!!! (Usually the issue that caused the break is not the real reason for the break...God allowed the break to happen so that He could reveal the real heart issues.) If you continue to focus on the "issue" you will miss it all.
3. Commit to Pray for restoration, even if your heart is not there yet!!!
4. Think the best of that person!!!!! (so hard!!!)
and then most importantly, TRUST that the Lord IS doing good work.
Even though I knew all of that to be truth my impatient heart began to hurt so bad from some spiritual battles in my life that I became soooo discouraged and depressed.
Literally last night and this morning I told the Lord that I felt like my heart could not handle it anymore, that my heart desperately needed some encouragement. I asked him this morning to heal one of those spiritual battles in my life. That afternoon He did more than that. He not only restored a friendship, He made it stronger than before. Pride was washed away, Satan's lies were revealed, pain was totally removed, hearts were completely encouraged and truth prevailed. And because of what was done on the cross, there was complete restoration.
Needless to say...I AM TOTALLY ENCOURAGED!!!
God's work is...... SOOOO GOOD. and I say that like I was completely! and utterly! dehydrated! and the Lord just poured me a nice big, huge, over flowing, refreshing cold one. ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. of course I am talking about a drink of water ;)
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Monday, July 4, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
JJ Heller!!!!!!!
And to think...I was about to pass on this gig due to nerves (in other words, the father of lies)!!!
Thanks to our good friends Bradley and Dawn I was blessed to be apart of this beautiful video. I have no doubt this video is going to be great, how could it not?!?! JJ Heller a very talented singer song writer match up with Bradley Gregg, a great producer and editor along with his very supportive, creative wife Dawn and all of her great ideas equals one amazing video! I am very excited to see how this all comes together.
The really cool part...I got to be in the video!!! I was the make-up artist for the models and me doing their make-up is apart of the video.
Can I tell you, I WAS NERVOUS AS ALL GET OUT!!!! I have not done a model or brides make-up in sooo long so I thought I was going to puke when I agreed to do it. Not only that, but the fact that I was going to be FILMED while doing it!!! Seriously, ask Dawn, I was pooping my pants beforehand. Once I got there and saw how laid back things were I calmed down and of course thanks to my loved ones praying for me (thank you, you know who you are) it really turned out to be a very fun experience.
I had had the pleasure of meeting JJ and her husband before and they seemed to be a very nice and pleasant. After yesterday I can definitely assure you they are SO nice, so laid back down to earth, so real and trying to figure out life/ God's will for their lives just like the rest of us.
Here are some of the great photos Dawn took throughout the day. http://dawngregg.smugmug.com/Other/JJ/16030812_SJgFQ#1202922281_8qGne
Stay tuned. I will post the video once it is released.
Thanks to our good friends Bradley and Dawn I was blessed to be apart of this beautiful video. I have no doubt this video is going to be great, how could it not?!?! JJ Heller a very talented singer song writer match up with Bradley Gregg, a great producer and editor along with his very supportive, creative wife Dawn and all of her great ideas equals one amazing video! I am very excited to see how this all comes together.
The really cool part...I got to be in the video!!! I was the make-up artist for the models and me doing their make-up is apart of the video.
Can I tell you, I WAS NERVOUS AS ALL GET OUT!!!! I have not done a model or brides make-up in sooo long so I thought I was going to puke when I agreed to do it. Not only that, but the fact that I was going to be FILMED while doing it!!! Seriously, ask Dawn, I was pooping my pants beforehand. Once I got there and saw how laid back things were I calmed down and of course thanks to my loved ones praying for me (thank you, you know who you are) it really turned out to be a very fun experience.
I had had the pleasure of meeting JJ and her husband before and they seemed to be a very nice and pleasant. After yesterday I can definitely assure you they are SO nice, so laid back down to earth, so real and trying to figure out life/ God's will for their lives just like the rest of us.
Here are some of the great photos Dawn took throughout the day. http://dawngregg.smugmug.com/Other/JJ/16030812_SJgFQ#1202922281_8qGne
Stay tuned. I will post the video once it is released.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Just a Thought...
Recently I heard another believer say..."after all I did for so and so and this is how I get treated."
You know when you say something and it doesn't sound as bad as to when you hear someone else say it? Cause I am pretty sure I have said something like that in the past. We are probably just so self deceived into thinking we aren't as bad.
Anyway, when I heard this come from that persons mouth this verse came to mind... Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Colossians 3:23,24
I understand, especially as a mother, when we pour so much time, effort, money, etc. etc. into a person or persons and then when things don't go as planned it stings. I totally get it.
I wonder...if our motivation was different, would it sting as much?
You know what will sting even more...when our works are tested.
...each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. 1 Corinthians 3:13
You know when you say something and it doesn't sound as bad as to when you hear someone else say it? Cause I am pretty sure I have said something like that in the past. We are probably just so self deceived into thinking we aren't as bad.
Anyway, when I heard this come from that persons mouth this verse came to mind... Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. Colossians 3:23,24
I understand, especially as a mother, when we pour so much time, effort, money, etc. etc. into a person or persons and then when things don't go as planned it stings. I totally get it.
I wonder...if our motivation was different, would it sting as much?
You know what will sting even more...when our works are tested.
...each man's work will become evident; for the day will show it because it is to be revealed with fire, and the fire itself will test the quality of each man's work. 1 Corinthians 3:13
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Capturing My Thoughts... In Writing
This whole 'thinking the best of others' is really hard, don't you think?
You know those certain people in your life that make you wonder if they just creatively says things to get under your skin? Or, forget the creative part, they just blatantly say things because they know it will get under your skin (of course only if you let it.)
Ever feel like there are some who are always trying to prove themselves or prove you wrong? They try to sound so intellectual when disagreeing with you, only to make you feel stupid, but inside you just want to say, seriously, get your head out of your bootie! And it would totally kill them to agree with you.
There's an itch there but it never gets scratched. A big fat elephant in the room that is constantly ignored. And you always wonder if this time will be the straw that will break the camels back? Will it ever be rooted out?
Is it me, or am I just crazy??? (don't answer that.) Honestly I try hard to not think too much about this stuff because it could drive a person mad. And really, it's so petty and a waist of the mind. So, now if my mind does go there (which I guess is right now, since I am writing about it) I try to remember to pray for that persons heart, my heart and recite Hebrews 4:6 (thanks to our amazing Pastor who has repeatedly gone over this verse)....But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
Because you know what I mentioned above, it's all rooted in that icky poo poo pride. And I do trust, that in time, God will root it out.
Definitely not saying for one single second that I am above all of this, cause I most certainly am NOT!!! Just saying, it is on my mind. So....I am pondering, meditating, praying and soaking up truth....instead of letting my mind "go there".
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ... 2 Corinthians 10:5
When writing this a certain person, who is totally opposite of what I just wrote, came to mind. We get a long really well, we enjoy each others company and I know for a fact we do not agree on everything but for some reason, it works. We have no problem discussing the things we disagree on. We ask each other questions about the things we disagree on and try to understand each other better. We laugh about our disagreements or maybe cry. We challenge each other in love. It's authentic. She laughs at me when I make a complete butt of myself. And I with her. There is no competition, no insecurity in our friendship... a true sign of her security in Christ. It is so refreshing to be with her.
It really takes two, who are secure in Christ, to have a great relationship because with each others short comings and pride etc. etc. without Christ, one is usually working harder than the other. Which is sometimes Gods plan too, for a season.
We are just called to love and of course search our own hearts and then let God do the work...because without a shadow of a doubt I know He will!
You know those certain people in your life that make you wonder if they just creatively says things to get under your skin? Or, forget the creative part, they just blatantly say things because they know it will get under your skin (of course only if you let it.)
Ever feel like there are some who are always trying to prove themselves or prove you wrong? They try to sound so intellectual when disagreeing with you, only to make you feel stupid, but inside you just want to say, seriously, get your head out of your bootie! And it would totally kill them to agree with you.
There's an itch there but it never gets scratched. A big fat elephant in the room that is constantly ignored. And you always wonder if this time will be the straw that will break the camels back? Will it ever be rooted out?
Is it me, or am I just crazy??? (don't answer that.) Honestly I try hard to not think too much about this stuff because it could drive a person mad. And really, it's so petty and a waist of the mind. So, now if my mind does go there (which I guess is right now, since I am writing about it) I try to remember to pray for that persons heart, my heart and recite Hebrews 4:6 (thanks to our amazing Pastor who has repeatedly gone over this verse)....But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, "GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE."
Because you know what I mentioned above, it's all rooted in that icky poo poo pride. And I do trust, that in time, God will root it out.
Definitely not saying for one single second that I am above all of this, cause I most certainly am NOT!!! Just saying, it is on my mind. So....I am pondering, meditating, praying and soaking up truth....instead of letting my mind "go there".
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ... 2 Corinthians 10:5
When writing this a certain person, who is totally opposite of what I just wrote, came to mind. We get a long really well, we enjoy each others company and I know for a fact we do not agree on everything but for some reason, it works. We have no problem discussing the things we disagree on. We ask each other questions about the things we disagree on and try to understand each other better. We laugh about our disagreements or maybe cry. We challenge each other in love. It's authentic. She laughs at me when I make a complete butt of myself. And I with her. There is no competition, no insecurity in our friendship... a true sign of her security in Christ. It is so refreshing to be with her.
It really takes two, who are secure in Christ, to have a great relationship because with each others short comings and pride etc. etc. without Christ, one is usually working harder than the other. Which is sometimes Gods plan too, for a season.
We are just called to love and of course search our own hearts and then let God do the work...because without a shadow of a doubt I know He will!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Walking on egg shells...In other words, A Spiritual Battle.
Some of you may know this felling...
You feel you can no longer be yourself in that person presence,
You fear their reaction whenever you speak,
You fear you may upset them due to their weak interpretation of your words,
They may not realize it, but deep in their heart they already think the worst of you so they are on the defense,
You try to defend your every breath to someone you thought knew you and loved you unconditionally.
Inauthentic...fake...counterfeit...defensiveness...rooted in the fear of man...lies that came from the evil one and they were believed.
Its not about everyone seeing eye-to-eye on everything but that you can see differently and still love each other.
"How is it that a large portion of the people think I'm a self-righteous uptight narrow minded know-it-all black or white no shades of gray debbie downer biggot...... while an equally large portion... thinks I'm the biggest loosey goosey go with the flow neither here nor there luke warm whateverfloatsyourboat compromiser hypocrite heathen?
Then, there's those who know me."
You feel you can no longer be yourself in that person presence,
You fear their reaction whenever you speak,
You fear you may upset them due to their weak interpretation of your words,
They may not realize it, but deep in their heart they already think the worst of you so they are on the defense,
You try to defend your every breath to someone you thought knew you and loved you unconditionally.
Inauthentic...fake...counterfeit...defensiveness...rooted in the fear of man...lies that came from the evil one and they were believed.
Its not about everyone seeing eye-to-eye on everything but that you can see differently and still love each other.
I love this! I got this off of Dawn's blog and I am sure most of us feel the same...I know I do. (thanks Dawn for articulating so well)
Then, there's those who know me."
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Girls Vocab Word...Consider
I was reading someones else's blog and came across this paragraph... "No one likes to be told they are wrong. Correction and critique are things we go out of our way to avoid. Those who can ask the tough questions about your life—probing deep when they suspect some spiritual sickness—are often not welcome friends. We don’t pick up the phone when they call. We avoid them at work. We don’t return their emails. Why? Because they can tell us the skinny about our life and we don’t want to hear it. We are prideful people who, like the priest, choose to walk far around the problems in our life, and we ask others to do the same."
Funny, because earlier today I was thinking about how grateful I am that I have certain people in my life who lovingly speak truth to me. I am grateful they do not shy away. I am grateful that they love me enough to not please me and "tickle my ears." I am grateful for the pastors who fear God and not men. I am grateful for the ones who have the gift of discernment and humbly share what they have discerned so that I may go and search my heart.
Whenever you are confiding in someone about a situation of course our flesh cry's out "please take my side and make me feel better." I am grateful for the ones who have pondered/ considered their answer and have been obedient to challenge my emotions and thoughts. Those are the ones to be trusted.
One of the vocab words this week for my girls is, Consider. Definition: To think carefully.
The memory verse I am having them memorize along with the word is...
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Proverbs 15:28
Funny, because earlier today I was thinking about how grateful I am that I have certain people in my life who lovingly speak truth to me. I am grateful they do not shy away. I am grateful that they love me enough to not please me and "tickle my ears." I am grateful for the pastors who fear God and not men. I am grateful for the ones who have the gift of discernment and humbly share what they have discerned so that I may go and search my heart.
Whenever you are confiding in someone about a situation of course our flesh cry's out "please take my side and make me feel better." I am grateful for the ones who have pondered/ considered their answer and have been obedient to challenge my emotions and thoughts. Those are the ones to be trusted.
One of the vocab words this week for my girls is, Consider. Definition: To think carefully.
The memory verse I am having them memorize along with the word is...
The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things. Proverbs 15:28
Friday, September 3, 2010
You Are Not Alone
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Comfort in my Best Friend
For a while now I feel there has been a spiritual battle going on around me attacking relationships in my life. Having said that I realize it's a spiritual battle, I try not to take things personal but it's hard not to sometimes. Feeling some insecurities lately and praying for the ones who mean the most to me, I was comforted the other day while blow drying my hair. Out of the blue I started to hum the song " What a Friend we have in Jesus". It's not a song I hum often. The words of a song again bring tears of comfort and a great peace that surpasses my understanding. As like with any song that brings me such comfort, it has been playing in my house all weekend. The neat thing too is I can hear my Grandmas voice singing the song in my head. Talk about leaving a special legacy!
I have decided this will now be the song the girls and I will work on daily in school to memorize and sing until it too is written on theirs hearts. Funny because without even praying about it, I was just wishing the other day that I would find a song to incorporate in our schooling. Romans 8:28 Interesting how things work out.
I pray one day when my girls are feeling insecurities in their relationships they too will find comfort in the best friend of all, Jesus. I also pray that down the road when they find themselves humming the song " What a Friend we have in Jesus" they too will hear my voice singing the song in their head just as I hear my Grandmas.
I have decided this will now be the song the girls and I will work on daily in school to memorize and sing until it too is written on theirs hearts. Funny because without even praying about it, I was just wishing the other day that I would find a song to incorporate in our schooling. Romans 8:28 Interesting how things work out.
I pray one day when my girls are feeling insecurities in their relationships they too will find comfort in the best friend of all, Jesus. I also pray that down the road when they find themselves humming the song " What a Friend we have in Jesus" they too will hear my voice singing the song in their head just as I hear my Grandmas.
Thank you Lord for the relationships you have blessed me with. For all of the wisdom that comes from trial and error. Thank you Lord for your Grace and for your perfect example of how to be a good friend.
What a friend we have in Jesus,
all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
all because we do not carry
everything to God in prayer. Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful
who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
take it to the Lord in prayer. Are we weak and heavy laden,
cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge;
take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee;
thou wilt find a solace there. Monday, March 1, 2010
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
I am so grateful for the ones who have gone before me.
As I prayed over the decision to homeschool God brought much encouragement. One of the many ways God has encouraged my heart was through a special friend. I see her walking in shoes I hope to fill one day. To know her is a great pleasure, to watch her walk is life changing, and to see her fall publicly on her knees in humbleness slices me to the core.
Here is a piece of her heart that has encouraged me and still does to this day. This is posted on her blog and I have read it before but as I read it again today I am remembered why I love her so much.
Enjoy and be encouraged........
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Here is a piece of her heart that has encouraged me and still does to this day. This is posted on her blog and I have read it before but as I read it again today I am remembered why I love her so much.
Enjoy and be encouraged........
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People ask us all the time why we home-educate. The second question is usually.... "Is it hard?" And then......"Are you monitored by the state ? And...."Do you need any special credentials?"
Once, I met a lady in the pool who was besides herself beyond horrified because our kids would never be exposed to people from different cultures. I eased her fears as best I could...reassuring her that our kids are not lacking in that department...having relationships with friends from various back rounds including the Philippines, Hollywood, Haiti, China, and the Salt River Indian Reservation...to name a few. I informed her that they themselves...my kids...were living with siblings from Eastern Europe and Central Asia. Her concerns turned to spiritual matters. How would they have contact w/people of other faiths? Again, I assured her that our kids are surrounded by all sorts of different people from different persuasions. We have non-believers under our roof and in our co-op right alongside the believers. We have our whole Jewish side of the family and all our Jewish friends. We've got Catholic family & friends and LDS family & friends. We've got new-agers agnostics, atheists, and more....all within our circle. Sadly, I'm pretty sure this lady in the swimming pool was still besides herself.... beyond horrified that our kids were not in "school" as we parted.
In the beginning we got our share of "Wait! What about
Once, I met a lady in the pool who was besides herself beyond horrified because our kids would never be exposed to people from different cultures. I eased her fears as best I could...reassuring her that our kids are not lacking in that department...having relationships with friends from various back rounds including the Philippines, Hollywood, Haiti, China, and the Salt River Indian Reservation...to name a few. I informed her that they themselves...my kids...were living with siblings from Eastern Europe and Central Asia. Her concerns turned to spiritual matters. How would they have contact w/people of other faiths? Again, I assured her that our kids are surrounded by all sorts of different people from different persuasions. We have non-believers under our roof and in our co-op right alongside the believers. We have our whole Jewish side of the family and all our Jewish friends. We've got Catholic family & friends and LDS family & friends. We've got new-agers agnostics, atheists, and more....all within our circle. Sadly, I'm pretty sure this lady in the swimming pool was still besides herself.... beyond horrified that our kids were not in "school" as we parted.
In the beginning we got our share of "Wait! What about
socialization?" Seriously, that one just makes me chuckle. Enough socialization has NEVER EVER been a problem.
Years ago...our boys attended a private school here in town. It was a lovely school...run by lovely people. They were learning and doing well. But the Lord began tugging at my heart. This was not His BEST for our family. I processed the tugs for more than a year...ignoring, turning a blind eye, justifying why it was alright to stay...etc. But, these were the bottom line thoughts that would follow me around after I dropped the boys off early every morning... Someone other than me is with my kids all day long....Bradley and I are responsible for them....not Mr. or Mrs. So and So...and....... the mighty god of education is an idol.
That summer...during a six week long missions trip...the chains were broken. I compiled research, read, read, and read, compiled more and more research....highlighted...filled notebooks with articles...read, read, and read some more.
Bria was in third grade and Mcabe was in first when they came home. I knew what I had to do and I was confident I could do it. We had curriculums, we had, a schedule and we even had a principal! The boys and I stood in the kitchen on our first day and pledged allegiance to the flag by the t.v. These were the days when they still wore matching sweater vests to church and gladly sat for Sears portraits :)
Well, it's been over 9 years now and #1 Son has graduated out of "High-School." We have not accomplished everything we would have hoped as overseers of his education...but we have accomplished more than we could have ever dreamed of. That is my desire for all of our children....that they would not be hindered by our weaknesses and that they would surpass our dreams for them. Spiritually, relationally, artistically, and academically. Did you notice that I put academically last? I am such a bad home-educating mother. Academics come last on my list. It's not that I do not think that academics are important. I do. It's just that I think other things are more important. I tend to align myself with the Hebrew Worldview (do) rather than the Greek Worldview (know.) Assumptions That Affect Our Lives. I know...and I bet you do too.... a bunch of highly intelligent fools.
We (I especially) started out being VERY concerned about academics. I overbought everything I did not need and would never wind up using at the local Curriculum Convention. I attempted to recreate classroom settings with which I was familiar. It didn't take long for my misery to kick in. The kids were miserable too. I had us on a treadmill. Utter waste of time and energy...getting us nowhere fast.
Gradually, I realized that it was insecurity and fear which was motivating me and I relaxed big time. Then, I discovered Marilyn Howshall's Wisdom's Way of Learning.
She reiterated everything I was feeling and thinking.
I realized that the Lord gave these specific children to Bradley and I because He knew that we had specific ideas, abilities, and talents that He wanted us to impart to our kids. He trusted us with their stewardship. I remember that Bradley and I are creative individuals w/artistic bents and I began to see the big picture.
Some people think it's weird that I don't really consider (or know) what grades my kids are in...especially the younger ones. I mean...I have a "general" idea. Lower Elementary...Elementary...Middle School...etc. As they grow and mature....and gather experience...we ponder if and when they are ready to move ahead. Eventually, they will graduate High School when they show they are ready to move on to some form of "Higher Education."
We feel that if we can raise God fearing, God loving, God honoring individuals who know their purpose and desire to walk in His ways...individuals who are able to put coherent thoughts together and articulate them well....then we stewarded and shepherded as we were instructed to do so.
We live transparently and authentically in front of our kids. It's the only way we know how... and we are hoping for Godly results when this home-education journey of ours draws to a close.
One thing I've learned over the years is that there is nothing like being home with family members all day long everyday....to expose the sinfulness of our own hearts. Fertile ground for daily life lessons.
Something I must be honest about...
When the going got tough...I was personally tempted to give up on a number of occasions. A friend lovingly confronted me with a few questions. "Is this a calling from the Lord...this home-educating thing? Or are you operating on your own...in your own strength?" You see...I've discovered that even amongst home-educating circles there is a prevalent idea floating around out there...that "we take things year by year"...we "see what comes from each season to the next." I fell into that mindset for a short while....specifically at the "entering high school / panic stricken crossroad." The Lord exposed my distrust and firmly planted a commitment to home-education in my heart. I home-educate as an act of obedience.
He does not always call the equipped but He does always equip the called.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago...our boys attended a private school here in town. It was a lovely school...run by lovely people. They were learning and doing well. But the Lord began tugging at my heart. This was not His BEST for our family. I processed the tugs for more than a year...ignoring, turning a blind eye, justifying why it was alright to stay...etc. But, these were the bottom line thoughts that would follow me around after I dropped the boys off early every morning... Someone other than me is with my kids all day long....Bradley and I are responsible for them....not Mr. or Mrs. So and So...and....... the mighty god of education is an idol.
That summer...during a six week long missions trip...the chains were broken. I compiled research, read, read, and read, compiled more and more research....highlighted...filled notebooks with articles...read, read, and read some more.
Bria was in third grade and Mcabe was in first when they came home. I knew what I had to do and I was confident I could do it. We had curriculums, we had, a schedule and we even had a principal! The boys and I stood in the kitchen on our first day and pledged allegiance to the flag by the t.v. These were the days when they still wore matching sweater vests to church and gladly sat for Sears portraits :)
Well, it's been over 9 years now and #1 Son has graduated out of "High-School." We have not accomplished everything we would have hoped as overseers of his education...but we have accomplished more than we could have ever dreamed of. That is my desire for all of our children....that they would not be hindered by our weaknesses and that they would surpass our dreams for them. Spiritually, relationally, artistically, and academically. Did you notice that I put academically last? I am such a bad home-educating mother. Academics come last on my list. It's not that I do not think that academics are important. I do. It's just that I think other things are more important. I tend to align myself with the Hebrew Worldview (do) rather than the Greek Worldview (know.) Assumptions That Affect Our Lives. I know...and I bet you do too.... a bunch of highly intelligent fools.
We (I especially) started out being VERY concerned about academics. I overbought everything I did not need and would never wind up using at the local Curriculum Convention. I attempted to recreate classroom settings with which I was familiar. It didn't take long for my misery to kick in. The kids were miserable too. I had us on a treadmill. Utter waste of time and energy...getting us nowhere fast.
Gradually, I realized that it was insecurity and fear which was motivating me and I relaxed big time. Then, I discovered Marilyn Howshall's Wisdom's Way of Learning.
She reiterated everything I was feeling and thinking.
I realized that the Lord gave these specific children to Bradley and I because He knew that we had specific ideas, abilities, and talents that He wanted us to impart to our kids. He trusted us with their stewardship. I remember that Bradley and I are creative individuals w/artistic bents and I began to see the big picture.
Some people think it's weird that I don't really consider (or know) what grades my kids are in...especially the younger ones. I mean...I have a "general" idea. Lower Elementary...Elementary...Middle School...etc. As they grow and mature....and gather experience...we ponder if and when they are ready to move ahead. Eventually, they will graduate High School when they show they are ready to move on to some form of "Higher Education."
We feel that if we can raise God fearing, God loving, God honoring individuals who know their purpose and desire to walk in His ways...individuals who are able to put coherent thoughts together and articulate them well....then we stewarded and shepherded as we were instructed to do so.
We live transparently and authentically in front of our kids. It's the only way we know how... and we are hoping for Godly results when this home-education journey of ours draws to a close.
One thing I've learned over the years is that there is nothing like being home with family members all day long everyday....to expose the sinfulness of our own hearts. Fertile ground for daily life lessons.
Something I must be honest about...
When the going got tough...I was personally tempted to give up on a number of occasions. A friend lovingly confronted me with a few questions. "Is this a calling from the Lord...this home-educating thing? Or are you operating on your own...in your own strength?" You see...I've discovered that even amongst home-educating circles there is a prevalent idea floating around out there...that "we take things year by year"...we "see what comes from each season to the next." I fell into that mindset for a short while....specifically at the "entering high school / panic stricken crossroad." The Lord exposed my distrust and firmly planted a commitment to home-education in my heart. I home-educate as an act of obedience.
He does not always call the equipped but He does always equip the called.
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Her facebook status reads:
Given the fact that I am a beast...I need a verse that stops me from dwelling on the fact that I am a beast.... because that limits the finished work of Christ and stinks like pride.
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Dawn,
If you were not a beast how would God use you as the beautiful example you are? You are a godly, transparent example and one beautiful beast, inside and out.
Love you
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