Through the wisdom of some friends who had gone before us in adoption, it was brought to our attention that our daughter may be dealing with some attachment issues. After the many many hours of reading and talking with wise counsel in regards to attachment issues it all seem to fit. Even though we knew we had a journey ahead of us, somehow we felt relief with the fact that we were not CrAzY (although some would debate that) and we now could make some sense of it all. Honestly for a while I really felt like I would be better jumping off a cliff cause this adoption was NOT what I expected. Feed the child, clothe the child, love the child and we were all good, Right? WRONG!!!!
Anyway without going into the whole story (I will later when I have the time) I just have to share a HUGE blessing that happen today, one that I have never seen in my daughter.
When learning about attachment I came to realize that our daughter had gone into survival mode. She was making sure that she took care of her needs and was not relying on mommy or daddy to meet her needs. It is hard for her to trust us with her discipline, and for her to be able to see beyond the end of her nose is such a struggle because she is so consumed with making sure #1 is taking care of. Sharing with others is an issue too (which I know it is with most kids, but the root issue in why she is not sharing is different). It is very hard for her to be mindful of others around her, and not knowing how to deal when others get hurt is also an issue among others that we are working through.
Wellllll today she made a bad choice in not trusting mommy to take care of her baby sister. She decided it was her responsibility to handle the situation. In doing so she hurt her baby sissy. After having a talk with her and helping her realize what she had done I thought it was settled but two seconds later after we had parted she began to sob. I asked her what was wrong and she said she was really scared because she thought she had really hurt her baby sister. She was truly broken at the thought she may have hurt her. I have not seen this type of genuine softness in her.
P R A I S E J E S U S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God you are so good. You have encouraged my heart and you knew I needed that today! I just can't even begin to tell you what that has done for my heart today!
I am so proud of you Girl and blessed to be called Mom!!!