Just Working Through Some More Pride

That which hath been is that which shall be; and that which hath been done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun.  Ecclesiastes 1:9


Reminds me I am not alone.  I am not the only one.  And I guess it would be prideful for me to think I was...the only one.

Suppose we all were experiencing the same thing...what benefit would that be?  Well I guess it might make me feel better?  But that's not the point of our experiences. 

Many years ago I was dealing with years of infertility and then following that we were going through adoptions.  Seriously, at the time, I felt like I was the only one experiencing my thoughts, depression, and marriage issues.  I actually got angry at others and the Lord that I was the only one going through this. 

Of course I see now.  I realize I was so caught up in my emotions.  It really was, at the time, all about me.  I am so thankful for Gods mercy.  I am grateful that the Lord loves me so much to He help me get over myself and receive the gifts He had planned for me to receive in that time of pain.  I am also grateful He works it all together for His good...EVEN my selfish "I'm the only one" thoughts.    It has taught me how to share my experiences with others in a God honoring way, unlike before. When sharing I used to have thoughts running through my head like, "you wouldn't understand, or, you have no clue".  Totally prideful!  Then there were times I just didn't share at all in order to protect myself from what others may say because of their lack of understanding and then, I would get angry because I felt like I couldn't share.  I realize now, I don't always have to share!!!  Most of the time when I thought I was sharing really all I was doing was complaining, grumbling, and inviting you to my pity party and then when you did not appease my flesh I would get mad at you.  Ugh, such a vicious cycle!  Good grief, how is it that some of you still love me, LOL!!! 

The past has taught me to remove my expectations on others.  It's not always about them understanding my situation...it's about how Christ is working, it's about how good God is, despite the situation!!  It's about me trying to understand what God is teaching me and translating that to others so they may turn towards God in their situation.

So right now, to be honest with you, I feel like I am the only one who has children that dis-like each other.  Daughters who are sooooooooooooo mean to each other.  They act like they hate each other.  They fight and bicker all the time.  And I'm not talking about the typical toddler fights. Every time I turn around I swear they are yelling something so hateful to each other. Their facial expressions and body language is terrible!!!  I would like to blame it all on one particular child, and yes, she may need a little more help than the others, but we all need help in this area.  We don't all respond like we should due to stress levels and sometimes shock from what we are hearing come out of our child's mouth.

Back to the whole expectation/ entitled attitude thing.  I do realize I CANNOT expect my children to obey or be kind, loving and compassionate.  Even if that's what I try teach them ALL DAY LONG!  It's about directing their hearts towards the Lord and how their actions makes the Lord feel (not how mommy feels) so that they would want to please the Lord...not me.    It's about me going to the Lord daily and asking Him to get a hold of their little hearts and make the changes He needs to make.  In the mean time...I really want to pull my hair out!!!!!  Not to mention it's breaking my heart.  So if you feel lead, please pray for our hearts, our reactions responses and that we would be able to bring glory to Christ through our weaknesses.

Thanking God For His Mercy

I am passing on an article that is so raw, so authentic and so beautiful!  We over here have had our small (and I mean small compared so many out there) share of "after the airport" experience and continue to.  I can't tell you how grateful I am for those who chose to pray for us, love and encouraged us, even when you didn't understand what we were going through.  Heck we didn't understand what we were going through. 
I can't tell you how hard it was and how depressed I felt soon after our adoptions.  DID NOT EXPECT THAT!!! And the judging eyes or the subtle comments and sometimes not so subtle were so upsetting and made me feel like I was crazy not to mention made me feel SO isolated.  I truly felt like I was loosing my mind!!!  In part it was our fault because we shared so much of our frustration so openly and I think it shocked so many.  My goodness we were shocked too so I can imagine how we looked on the outside?!?!  I feel like I am in a good place now with all of that.  Judging eyes and the subtle comments don't phase me as much anymore.  God has provided me with safe places to share my crazy, loosing my mind kind of times with ones who understand, ones who know our hearts and ones we trust will speak truth in love and not judgement.  Don't you just love those safe places!!  God is so faithful!


If you know a young mommy who may be struggling with little ones or a mommy who has adopted or just a mom going through a hard time...encourage her, love on her, and remind her "she is following a God in this story who loves and restores... She will not remain exhausted and spent.  We are loved by a merciful Father."


And to the friend who shared this article...thank you for being a safe place.  You have and continue to encourage and love me through the times I feel like I am going to loose my mind.  Love you!!

Luke 22:32d

Truly Worth Your Time

I know most of us have busy lives (as a friend of mine puts it..."no time to fart left") (did I just say that???) anyway, if you ever get some time to sit and read, read this!!! 
Such an amazing testimony.  I promise it will encourage you to a greater faith.  It's like a great book...once you start, you won't be able to stop. 

Rickety Benches

So a little while back our next door neighbor move out of state.  After he left we saw that he had left some stuff in his back yard (yes we peaked, but our fence is low so it's hard not to).  Anyway, my hubby texted him and asked him what his plans were the for the left over stuff... he told us to have at it!!  Yay for us!  My husband got this really nice Rubbermaid shed, which was so great because we were in need of one and we had been searching Craig's list for one.  Then we found a nice set of car tires so we grabbed those, listed them on Craig's list and may a couple hundy!  I also saw a couple old rickety benches I thought I could possible do something with.  They were sun beaten, splintered and dirty...nothing a little sanding and paint couldn't take care of.
Here is a before pic...

Since we are re-doing the back patio I figured we could never have enough seating so I upholstered one to make it more comfy.  I was going to do both but I didn't have enough fabric.  I am kind of thinking I may make a coffee table out of the other one since I am kind of into that worn wood look.  Maybe slap some grey stain on and a piece of glass on top??? 


Anyway, here was my morning project...

I painted the legs white and then sanded them up a bit.  Then I added the foam, batting and fabric.  After a million staples and one very sore thumb....A new bench for my back patio. 

In one of the pictures is one of two chairs that I am going to be using at the farm table (another Craig's list buy and re-do).  And the humongous farm table that is some what in the photo is our dining table for outside but since the back yard is under construction it is in our kitchen.  My house is a bit crowded!!  I have been meaning to post the before and after pics of the table and the crazy sanding/ painting story that goes with it. 




 

Soul Surfer

We finally watched Soul Surfer the other night.  I am glad that I was not expecting much because I would have been really disappointed.  The movie was okay at best.  Acting...two thumbs down, and as far as being a "Christian" movie...well if you consider mentioning God a couple times, having a Christian song in the movie, leaving Christ out of the scripture verse they quoted. etc. etc... luke warm at best!!!  I am a bit disappointed by other Christian organizations recommending this movie.  I shouldn't be surprised, luke warm seems to be the trend.  So many missed opportunities in this movie...such a bummer!

These guys have a fun job!!!

Now that the concrete slab is gone it was time for the structure to come down.  We all joked about connecting the structure to our contractors truck and pulling it down but we weren't sure if that was the best choice.  Our back patio was not some tin roof that could easily be pulled down.  Once it came to making a decision we decided to choose the more fun approach. After much prep work and one failed attempt we finally did it.  The video does not capture the coolness but you can see it did work and it was fun!!!
Here are some pics along with the video.
 

Before



Now for the new floor and new structure. Yay!!!

More Construction...Back Patio

This weekend consisted of taking out the existing concrete floor. This concrete has been curing for more than 50 years and some of the areas were close to 10 inches thick!!!  Between Dad, hubby and I we were able to rip it out.  I have always wanted to work a jack hammer.  I have to tell you, if God would have made me a boy, I would definently be in construction!

 

Before



And of course each girl wanted to take a ride in the "tractor"

Our back patio.

 

After pic.  Whew!!  That was fun!

Now we can rip the structure down. Wait until you see this!!! Some chains, a bobcat and wah lah!  I'll post the video tomorrow.